sooooooooo, little earlier than I thought, but i'm gonna be meeting my dad on friday..... the man that I haven't seen for 21 years. and I'm not exactly sure how to react.

fucking touchy subjects.

So NaNoWriMo rapidly approaches (not fast enough if you ask me) and I find that this year I have my idea already and I'm actually having trouble trying to Stop myself from writing it. Once again I'm doing fanficton. I'm also Co-ML of the Tri-Cities and just had a blitz with my other ML and we think we're set for NaNo, mostly. Even set up a twitter account for it. But what I find myself really wanting to do is write a bunch of prequels to set up my story, and technically it wouldn't be breaking NaNo's rules.

So let's see, I'm Co-ML, and I've still got..... thre? CSI Miami fanfics to work on and finish, and I want to start come NCIS fanfic. I do already have another NCIS fanfic started on another site. Then I signed up for an NCIS contest thingy.... and I'm considering another FanFic challenge. This is of course topped with my classes and getting a new car, and finding a job, and getting money, and finding a way to move out come New Years. And waiting for the news that my cousin had her baby, and my nephew's first birthday in a couple days.

I'm pretty sure that I can add some more stress to all this, no problem. I'm pretty sure that not too long after writing this I will be working on my fanfics, because it's been a while since I've just typed and I need to get back into that habit before NaNo starts or I will fail, and I can't do that! Not when I won this year. Last year started my winning streak.

If you couldn't tell I like getting involved in large group things. I'm a paradox.

Also still waiting to her from the boy, although he did get friendly with me last week, in a good way that made me feel really good. I need more of that.... And my family isn't really supportive of anything that I wanna do and it's pissing me off. They don't like to talk about things, and I do. Rwarg family!

Title: 011 Memory
Rating: G
Summary: Ryan and Josh talk.
Warning: AU, Eric and Ryan as kids. I've also taken a few liberties with their age.
Spoilers: None
Pairings: Ryan/Eric, pre-slash
Disclaimer: I am saddened that I don't own either Ryan or Eric. I do own the pasts that I made up about them though. Um, that's about it, not making any money :(
A/N: Yay! I'm back! Don't know for how long, but I've had the urge to write this, yay!



( Alright, next question. )

Title: Painful Admissions
Author: Isokolymon
Rating: PG-NC17
Chapter Rating: PG-13
Warning: AU, Sequel to Dirty Fangs, and Of Men, Lies and Dreams, 3rd in the series
Spoilers: None
Summary: Forced into a dream reality, Ryan must find his way out and alive. With his past catching up with him and Eric along for the ride, getting home seems harder by the minute. But what other mysteries must Ryan uncover while in this alternate reality? What exactly is Kendrel's secret and how does it affect Ryan?
A/N: I know! Long time! Things come up, chapters disappear, school and lack of job, but here's the ... second to last chapter I do believe.





( Eric had fallen asleep... )

Alright! So eve though I'm about 15,000 words behind my schedule, I am about 82% done with the my novel as of right now. I have a plan, that I'm hoping I can follow, and I've set deadlines for myself. So what I'm really getting to is that I'm getting the email list ready.

I'm looking for readers, and editors. I already have a list started, but I'm looking to add to that list of people who would like to read it and tell me what they think, of people who would like to edit it, or do both. I need like another 2 or 3 Readers, and another 2 editors.

Her name was the only thing she remembered after the storm; Ayala Audra Montegrove. Ayala doesn't even remember being caught in the storm that destroyed her home and memories. Now, almost 15 years later, answers start showing up, answers to questions she hadn't asked.
Being part of the slowly growing, and discriminated against magikal community doesn't help in her search for the truth. Her world is about to be turned upside down, to the left right, and done all over again. And Ayala thoguht her destiny was to be a newspaper columnist and freelance writer. Oh, how very wrong she was. Her life is about to include the rest of the world.

There's a bad summary, lol. So go ahead and leave a comment with your email in it. And around the last week in July I'll be sending out some emails, and blah di blah. In<3 you all!

Okay, so I'm inserting a poll. I'm gettin all organized lately, and doing some other stuff that is like, "Yay, new me!" And I've talked about California, yes, that has no died, but I've decided to take a poll to see what others think. I need a big-ish city, I like the city (not here.) So yes, go take poll, give me answers.

Poll #1431117 Moving!
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 5

What state should I move too?

Also, like 4 days behind on my own personal wordcount on my novel, but technically not my fault.... not fully my fault. Must catch up.... later tongiht because right now I feel slightly OCD-ish, and I want to clean. Le Gasp!

Delta Fall 2009 Final Schedule

Mondays: 12pm - 9pm

Astronomy -- 12pm - 1:30pm
Astronomy Lab -- 2pm - 4pm
Biology -- 6 pm- 9pm


Tuesdays: 8am - 1:30pm

Ceramics -- 8am - 11am
Algebra -- 12pm - 1:30pm


Wednesdays: 12pm - 1:30 pm and 6pm - 9pm

Astronomy -- 12pm - 1:30pm
Home
Biology -- 6 pm- 9pm


Thursday! (happy?): 8am - 1:30pm

Ceramics -- 8am - 11am
Algebra -- 12pm - 1:30pm

Life update here! Still working on my novel BUT, it's a different one. It's the one i did for NaNo last year,a nd then tragically lost when my thumbs drive died (still waiting for that mental breakdown to happen). I'm retyping it, I found a copy of it, a paper physical copy, and I have the Writer's Market 2010, so here's to hoping.

Now I had planned that after this next year at Delta, I would get me a nifty internship at a Video Game company, move, blah blah, but that whole issue of "Shit, I still can't find a job in the third worst place in Michaigan for employment" and not being able to afford anything if I moved kept popping up. And a few other issues that have popped up because of the jobless thing that prevent me from doing a few things. So I came up with a plan! It's fleshed out, and I'm still working on it, but here it is so far.

I'm fucking moving to San Francisco! I'm gonna finish up a Fall, Winter and Spring semester at Delta, while hopefully having found some way to make money. When i get ready to go down there (technically it's over and down, but I'm saying down) I'm going to sell my car, my baby, Trent. Cause San Francisco, Ripe with public transportation. I'm going to find someone to live with, unless someone wants to move with me. Two reason i would not be able to afford a place by myself, expensive shit, and one of those little issues I mentioned before prevents me from getting a credit check.

As soon as I have someplace to live, I'm going to put in every online application to like Every place near my new place, then when i get down there I'm going to put in every Paper application. But the plan is to take care of one of aforementioned issues so I can get a loan, and have enough money saved up that I can pay for 2 to 3 months of rents and stuff sans-job.

The cats are gonna be tricky. Pudge is so loyal to me, but I would feel bad taking her away from here, because she loves mom too, and Egypt (don't know why), and I'm not sure at all about Bella. Mom would say take her with me, but that's nothing to worry about right now. The main point is that I need to get The Fuck Out Of Saginaw! Out Of Michigan!

The Goal is to be moving 3 years from now, max. The Dream, is to move in a year and a half from now. I wanna be turning 25 in California. I wanna be a Fag hag to so many Gay Men that I can't keep track of them. (The Sis-In-Law and I noticed that I attract gay men like no other, and I welcome the extra friends!) I wanna be able to leave my place when I wanna write or read and walk someplace that's nice and what I was looking for. I wanna find a fucking guy! Find my guy, then my life will start to slip into place, and I can fucking get the plans together for having my damn kids! (I might even lose my virginity *gasp*)

This is what I call my Leap of Faith (LoF) or my "I said , 'What the hell!'" moment. Nothing worth having if you're not willing to take a risk for it. And the worst that happens? I don't have a job/lose it, run out of money and have to come back home to mom to get back on my feet. I can deal with that, because I know my mom will say "I told you so. Come on in."

So that is the start of my plan, I've already started research, in fact it took two days or research to decide on Where I wanted to move. Also, I know I didn't mention school in there, because I effectively have to push "pause" on school until I can afford it. Cause after this year, I'm fucked. But that is my plan, I will do it, because I Have to. For my own sanity.

So surfing around the net yesterday and I manage to come across the Penguin Publishing site, and I notice that DAW Books (part of Penguin) is accepting manuscripts, more importantly, unsolicited manuscripts! They publish exclusively Fantasy and Sci-Fi, so imagine how excited I was! Then I remember that I lost two my two previous novels and are still still working on getting myself to revisit those extensively, but I have antoher novel started. So I'm currently working on that.

I was asked for a synopsis on Facebook, and I managed to come up with this, I'm really bad at coming up with that kidn of stuff. It's set in it's own world, of which I had to create from scratch.

Those gifted with Magic either have the Combat, Enchantment, of Diversion Expertise (Class). It is nigh rare that any person would have two, or all three, Expertise's, except for One every Millennium. An ancient evil that ended the Royal line is back to search for the missing Tri-Expertise One. But what's so important about this One person? And why does this Evil want them?

Not the classic I want to rule the world novel, I'm trying to make it Not cliche, and so far my Beta says that it sounds good without being like that, so.

When I get more writte out I might post it somewhere, or I'll just email it to people who wanna read it. I've already got Holly down as one of the first, but anyone let me know, drop a comment with your email or send me a message if you don't want everyone seeing your email, :P.

Here's an excerpt!

**
Aulare’s recorded history started over 120,000 years, Twelve Aelams, ago, but there have been very few instances that have memorable. Two instances to be exact. War is an inevitable thing and in the end no is truly surprised that it happens. What the people want to know about, what they want to remember, are the truly remarkable accounts.

It was during the Seventh Aelas that the first event occurred. The Royal Rashiort line was ended in the year 5754. Guards discovered the slaughtered bodies of the Royal family on the thirty-seventh day of the seventh month in the Grand Library. Master Holar Barqis raised the alarm early in the Morning hours. He was to deliver the names of the students from Aulare’s Expertise Academy that were to become members of the Royal Guard to the King. Shortly afterwards Master Holar vanished.
**

Okay, here's a quick (maybe) and dirty update.

I'm taking two Spring classes, Deisgn 1 and Color Photography, these classes will be taking up a lot of my time for the next 6 weeks. I am still working on my fanfics, in fact i hope to next week have an update for my 100 Ryan/Eric stories.

I can regal you now with chapter one of a new NCIS fic, well in the next few days. I like being involved in communities and all of that, so i gotta get that all sorted out.

Speaking of being involved! I am now one of the Authors for a new blog, MikeWeatherly.com . Michael Weatherly is an actor, mostly known for playing Anthony DiNozzo on NCIS, but he also does movies, much like he is filming a movie right now. It was just published online a few days ago, and we're working on great things, you should all go over and check it out.

//EDIT
Word just came in, Michael Weatherly has been notified of the site! Put it in his Twitter. Big advancements for the Blog that has like 4 or 5 Authors, lol. We may be able to get things rolling now! Woot!

Now I'm off to finish the second half of my Design homework, aka getting high off of marker fumes. My nose does not thank me.

I would just like to thank you for being an insensitive prick.

That is all.


To everyone else, I am working on my Photoshop Final, then I think I will be getting back to some writing before I start Spring/Summer classes. You will hear from my soon.

I have just experienced one of the most terrible things to ever happen to me. My beautiful, awesome, 8gig thumb drive, just died. It had over 5 gigs of information on it, 4 years, or more, worth of stuff. All of my documents, all of my pictures, everything, Gone. All of my homework, all of my ideas, My Novels! Gone! Really the only things I have left are my music, which made it over to my Mac, and some unrelated Photoshop items that I was messing around with.

The Story:
I was about to open my Photoshop homework, a huge project that is due Tomorrow, Before class, and I reached for a wire or something. My drive was plugged into my USB Hub, (because I have a lot of things to plug in, I'm techy nerd), and I moved the hub and the light goes out, and I get an error on my screen. Now thinking that it just came lose or something I took it out and plugged it back in. Nothing. I plugged it into a different port. Nothing. I took it out, wiggled it around, because I've had problems with others where it just came loose. Nothing. Plugged it into mom's laptop, Nothing. Mine, Nothing. At this point, I am freaking the fuck Out. It's a Geek Squad brand USB, so I figure I'll take ot down to Best Buy, pay whatever I have to for them to do their thing and get my information. Money that I don't really have....

So I go down there, I don't have to wait long, and I hand over my thumb drive to the nice guy and explain what happens. "Oh," his tone of voice isn't very confidence building. He tests it two computer, 4 different ports. Nothing. "I think it might be dead. I hope you didn't have anything important on there."
"Just my life."
"Oooooo."

The female walks over and asks what;s happening and we explain. "My dad sent his drive out to have the data recovered and he spent crazy money. Six grand, and he didn't get everything back."

At this point, it's taking a shit ton of control to not break down crying in front of Geek Squad, and Best Buy. I've just been told that I lost my entire life, that everything on that little stick, is Gone. The nice guy then tells me that he's lost 3 thumb drives to one computer because it decided to shock them, and kill them, and he now owns 9 external hard drives. I then asked the man seriously if I should consider getting a hard drive. He told me, Yes.

"There's good news nad bad news. The bad news you know, your thumb drive is dead. The good news, you get a replacement for free."

So I am the owner of a brand new 8gig thumb drive, and a 250 gig external hard drive. As of right now, the thumb drive is for transporting long distances, and the Hard Drive gets EVERYTHING.

I'll be able to recover most of my fanfiction work because I've posted it on the internet somewhere. I'll be able to recover half of one of my novels, the undedited version of it. I'll be able to recover a Tiny Percentage of my pictures from the stuff that I've uploaded on deviantArt.

I don't know how I'm functioning right now, but I'm sure that alter tongiht or tomorrow it'll all kick in. Things don't really sink in for me unti la few days after it's happened, my brain doesn't want to except what's happened, works the same way when someone dies. Right now I just need to get my Photoshop homework back on track, that's what's keeping me from freaking out. Probably tomorrow, During Photoshop class I'll freak out, and most likely cry. Yay Me.

Title: 010 Breathe Again
Rating: G
Summary: Eric's Graduation Party
Warning: AU, Eric and Ryan as kids. I've also taken a few liberties with their age.
Spoilers: None
Pairings: Ryan/Eric, pre-slash
Disclaimer: I am saddened that I don't own either Ryan or Eric. I do own the pasts that I made up about them though. Um, that's about it, not making any money :(


( Eric smiled as he thanked another set of guests... )

Title: 009 Drive
Rating: G
Summary: Ryan and his new Roommate talk over a letter.
Warning: AU, Eric and Ryan as kids. I've also taken a few liberties with their age.
Spoilers: None
Pairings: Ryan/Eric, pre-slash
Disclaimer: I am saddened that I don't own either Ryan or Eric. I do own the pasts that I made up about them though. Um, that's about it, not making any money :(
A/N: I was in a position like Ryan's,... fun stuff :) I'm also in love with Ryan's roommate.




( Ryan grabbed the thick envelope from his mailbox... )

.... to have a sad and angry post at the same time? They kind of mesh together int he middle, and isn't that really all one needs to make something seem like one? Applies to Art too, which could lead me to one, not the most prominant, of the issues at hand.

I've found myself taking a hard look at school, and my schooling and choices in particular. I find the thought swimming around more than i would like of I don't want to be there. And more recently I've found myself questioning my major choice.... again.

Fair warning, it's that time of year, I'm going to be vague, and probably not explain everything that I'm thinking. And I can tell you Why I'll do that! Because it's a sign of weakness, failure, SOMETHING, to explain this to everyone. Example, everyone please count how many time you've seen me cry. I can bet that most of you will never get past the number 2, if you even get a number. And I'll tell you if you're right or wrong.

I've found that I need to purge my life every so often, and that time is coming once again. I'd like to be in charge of it this time. Slowly but surely I find that I am surrounding myself with the people that I need to be around, the ones that help me, that help me grow and learn to do things that have been locked away for far too damn long. But I'm still left with an ache, and longing, that I just can't figure out why it's like that. It hurts dammit.

Also, another warning, although these all mesh I'm just typing what comes to mind, no particular order. Again, Vague.

Something that has always bugged comes out, not for the first time, but I'll be a little less vague than I usually am about it. STOP FUCKING DOUBTING ME.
That help?
I am sick and fucking tired of people telling me that I don't understand, that I don't know what's involved, that it takes a lot of this, a lot of that. Listen, unless it's something that someone usually doesn't encounter in everyday life, or some extraordinary task that isn't common, I know what the fuck I'm doing! I'm not a fucking child!

This I will explain, because I feel the most passionate about this.

I grow up way too fucking fast for my own good. I was a very independent child, and still am to an extent. I was doing shit in my young age that I would have just started doing now, or understanding things in elementary school that should have been saved for Fucking High School. Consider this my time that I'm catching up on what I missed, I know it doesn't work, but you can't fucking change me. And if you can change me, then you're one that is probably meant to fill my ache.

Growing up as an only child, single parent household, will do all of that to a child. I'm not gonna say that I wasn't a spoiled only child, but I wasn't like everyone thinks. Of course my mother spoiled me, I was, still am, her only child, but I didn't get whatever I wanted.

I know it's not healthy for me, but I really don't and can't care. I have to engross myself in the stories that I read and write. And I say it's not healthy, because for me it's not, I am only left with emptiness. I've known this since I was maybe 11, or maybe younger. I've tried explaining it, and people either say, Oh I understand, or just write it off as an overactive imagination. Um, no, to both. You Don't understand, or connect, or anything. Trust Me.

I feel that if I go on any further, then the men with the white jacket are going to come. I seriously need to be on some sort of drugs. I just want all the pain to go away.... all of it....

Please.

Title: Painful Admissions
Author: Isokolymon
Rating: PG-NC17
Chapter Rating: PG-13
Warning: AU, Sequel to Dirty Fangs, and Of Men, Lies and Dreams, 3rd in the series
Spoilers: None
Summary: Forced into a dream reality, Ryan must find his way out and alive. With his past catching up with him and Eric along for the ride, getting home seems harder by the minute. But what other mysteries must Ryan uncover while in this alternate reality? What exactly is Kendrel's secret and how does it affect Ryan?


( Chapter 6! )

Zoe
February 6th 2008 - February 18th 2009

I thought I had already gone over all of this? Less than a year later I find myself saying the same things.

Example

She just turned one year old. One of the sweetest things ever, she was unique, she was just too sweet to ever deserve anything bad. Sow hat happens? She can't breathe, my baby can't fucking catch her breath and she's wheezing. She never did anything, she just wanted a home. We took Zoe home from the pound, we loved her, fed her, she had Pudge and Egypt to play with, to be companions.
I took her to the fucking Vet! They said nothing was wrong with her and gave her vaccinations. So then why did she steadily decline and get worse. Why are looking at her on the bed while she can't catch her breath, or get comfortable to sleep. Why do you have to do this to my pets?

It hasn't even been a year since Ryan, or Lulu. Please. I can't take anymore. Stop taking away my pets. Stop making me bury my pets, stop making me have to decide to put them down so they don't suffer. Stop taking away my pets who have done nothing except want a home. I just can't do it anymore.

Please. It breaks my heart.

March 08 - Lulu
Feb 08 - Ryan
May 07 - Katy
Feb 04 - Sid

So, I'm moving into over drive with my NaNo Novel; read as, I'm kicking my ass to edit it and make it appealing to agents. So every night I go through a couple pages at a time and edit it, and oh man, let me tell you. The Track Changes in Word, my document has never looked so colorful before, lol. Okay, so the point of this post. I'm looking for a couple people who rather soon in the future would like to read through my novel, not as an editor, but as a Fantasy Genre Reader. You know, to read through it and tell me if it's something that you would go and buy.

Now should I get this surprising number amount of people, I will have to say no to some people. I don't want everyone and their brother reading it, just because what ambition would you guys have to go out and buy it?! :P Below is a summary (albeit a sucky one) of the novel. If you're interested leave a comment, or if you came here from Facebook, or MySpace, then go ahead and send me a message from there.

Eventually I will need an editing eye to read it through too, cause I have grammar, and as I'm noticing, tense, issues. So if you'd like to volunteer for that, it would be Mondo appreciated. I'd have to do something special for you, too.


( summary )

Title: 008 Innocence
Rating: G
Summary: Ryan has to go away.
Warning: AU, Eric and Ryan as kids. I've also taken a few liberties with their age.
Spoilers: None
Pairings: Ryan/Eric, pre-slash
Disclaimer: I am saddened that I don't own either Ryan or Eric. I do own the pasts that I made up about them though. Um, that's about it, not making any money :(



 ( Ryan wasn't exactly sure how he gotten where he was. )